remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
