We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize