it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
