It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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