So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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