I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
