i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
