i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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