I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
