so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
