It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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