just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
