was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
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I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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