After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
