My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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