I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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