She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
