i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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