hotel room ftw
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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