just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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