i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
