we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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