i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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