dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
