weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
