My friends, they love my intelligence
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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