Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
honey bunches of taint.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
