Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
