Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
