I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize