Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The struggles of a small town man whore
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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