just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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