I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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