Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
