So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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