so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
