I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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