the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
