I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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