me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
