Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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