Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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