it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My feet surprised me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
