: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
