they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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