All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize