I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
