sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
