why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
