DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
