i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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