hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
