it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
