Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
