OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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