3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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