It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
