Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
