did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
